我们现在在写一篇论文的标注，我们想写一句话，就是这个工作的部分之前已经在会议上被接收，请润色一下下面...

可以更自然、也更符合论文里常见的写法，比如下面几种（按常用程度排序）：

1. 最常用/最顺：
   Part of this work has been accepted for presentation at the IEEE Global Communications Conference (GLOBECOM) 2025.

2. 更正式一点：
   A preliminary version of this work has been accepted at the IEEE Global Communications Conference (GLOBECOM) 2025.

3. 如果你只想强调“提交过”而不暗示已接收：
   Part of this work was submitted to the IEEE Global Communications Conference (GLOBECOM) 2025.

你原句的问题主要是：学术语境里一般用 work 比 paper 更稳；另外如果已经“被接收”，最好明确写 has been accepted，避免只写 submitted 造成歧义。

当然可以，把 for presentation 去掉后更直接、也很常见的写法是：

Part of this work has been accepted at the IEEE Global Communications Conference (GLOBECOM) 2025.

如果你想更严格一点（强调“被会议接收”，而不是“在会议上被接收”这种略口语的表达），也可以用：

Part of this work has been accepted by the IEEE Global Communications Conference (GLOBECOM) 2025.